A practical post with some tips and advice for a subject not often addressed: what do you do if a bride, groom or a member of your party has special needs?
Let me start by saying that, obviously, there are many people with special needs, and they can run the gamut from intellectual challenges to physical handicaps, and each person deserves to be treated with caring and dignity, regardless of their difficulty. Whether you are getting married and have special needs, or whether a member of your party does, it can be helpful to know before you arrive at the bridal shop the kind of challenges you might face.
Wheelchair: If you are shopping for a wedding gown and you use a wheelchair, the only difficulty arises when 1. the actual store has stairs and/or no handicapped accessible restroom, or when it comes time for the sizing. A bride who is planning on wearing a traditional gown while in a wheelchair, may want to consider either having the train on her dress removed, or having her dress customized so that the train is a Watteau style train that falls from between her shoulders instead of from the skirt. Do not stand up to be sized for your hollow to hem (the length of your gown), remain seated, so that the hem of your dress will fall where you want it as you come down the aisle.
Mentally Challenged: We most often see the mentally challenged at the Bridal Store when it is time to size family members of the Bride and Groom for their bridesmaid dresses and tuxes. To get a good fit, and spend less on alterations, it is imperative that the sizer be able to ask and get meaningful responses to questions such as, "what size do you normally wear? Your bust measurement and waist measurement are putting you in two different sizes - I recommend we do such-and-such. What do you think?" If the customer is unable to answer these questions, it is strongly suggested that, just as in sizing of underage individuals, an adult friend or family member be present to assist in the determination of size.
Hearing Impaired/Blind: not usually an issue, actually. I have waited on both and find that communication may be slower, but is not typically impossible. I recommend that someone who has a communication challenge, or someone who will not be able to see the dresses they are trying on very well and will be relying on touch and others' opinions, try to make your appointment be during a slow period so that you will not feel rushed.
Amputees and Other Physical Differences: Usually more of an issue in the tux department than the bridal area. Dresses cover the lower half of the body, and necklines vary, but in the tux department, every tux comes with two legs and two sleeves. I usually ask a customer's preference when sizing for a tux: would they prefer to have the pant leg hemmed up to their limb? Would they prefer a weight be placed in a sleeve to give it shape when he is standing so as not to be obvious in pictures? At our store, like all the best stores, we own all our merchandise and have it on the premises, so we can make adjustments until the wearer feels completely comfortable.
Have you ever heard the philosophy that you should not make assumptions about a person's attitude towards their challenge, but you should take your cues from them? Like, should you offer to open a door for someone on crutches, or would that person feel like your good-will is more like pity? With this in mind, I genuinely welcome every person who enters my store, and wait for them to give me cues as to how they would like to proceed. If I get none, I gently ask. ("Would you like assistance getting into your strapless bra, or would you prefer I wait outside?") It seems to be working for me so far!
**I'd like to thank DA, who treats all his customers with the utmost care and dignity and has taught me almost all of what I know about assisting those with differences. His special customers come back to him again and again!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
11 Things People HATE About Shopping for their Wedding Gown
Its Monday morning, and I'm feeling kind of Monday-morningish today! I'm thinking about all the things that people HATE about wedding dress shopping. Here's a list:
1. Pushy sales people
2. Sample sizes
3. Lack of privacy
4. Opinionated Moms
5. Fear of Immoral/Incompetent Stores
6. $$$
7. Commitment-Phobia - the concern that the perfect dress is out there, and how will you know when you've found it?
8. Champagne taste/Beer Budget
9. Too much tradition/pomp and circumstance
10. Time consuming
11. Dislike own body - fear that nothing will look good
These are all reasons Brides have given me of why they have been putting off shopping for their dress. I like to think that when you come to visit me, I am able to make most of those disappear. And the ones that I can't make disappear, I can make more bearable. (For example, a Mom who is too opinionated might find herself being asked by me, "Jane obviously really loves this dress! Don't you think that her face is beaming when she puts on the gown she loves?...") In my case, when I got married, I had already been working in the wedding industry for several years, but not with gowns directly, so my fear was that I would not be able to get a good sense of the dress from the sample size (since my readers know that I am busty and tended to wear a size 14 suit blazer and size 6 pants. My fear turned out to be unfounded or irrelevant.
A consultant at the store was let go last week. Too many brides expressed that they would be happy to come back to our store again - beautiful dresses, fair prices, excellent reputation - if only they could be assisted by someone different. Sounds like someone failed to help our brides overcome their fear and dread of the process!
Tell me about a misgiving or bad experience you had... I love gossip!
1. Pushy sales people
2. Sample sizes
3. Lack of privacy
4. Opinionated Moms
5. Fear of Immoral/Incompetent Stores
6. $$$
7. Commitment-Phobia - the concern that the perfect dress is out there, and how will you know when you've found it?
8. Champagne taste/Beer Budget
9. Too much tradition/pomp and circumstance
10. Time consuming
11. Dislike own body - fear that nothing will look good
These are all reasons Brides have given me of why they have been putting off shopping for their dress. I like to think that when you come to visit me, I am able to make most of those disappear. And the ones that I can't make disappear, I can make more bearable. (For example, a Mom who is too opinionated might find herself being asked by me, "Jane obviously really loves this dress! Don't you think that her face is beaming when she puts on the gown she loves?...") In my case, when I got married, I had already been working in the wedding industry for several years, but not with gowns directly, so my fear was that I would not be able to get a good sense of the dress from the sample size (since my readers know that I am busty and tended to wear a size 14 suit blazer and size 6 pants. My fear turned out to be unfounded or irrelevant.
A consultant at the store was let go last week. Too many brides expressed that they would be happy to come back to our store again - beautiful dresses, fair prices, excellent reputation - if only they could be assisted by someone different. Sounds like someone failed to help our brides overcome their fear and dread of the process!
Tell me about a misgiving or bad experience you had... I love gossip!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Why You Do It All
I am still smiling a day later, so here's my post from yesterday... Feel Good Friday
Why do you put all the energy, thought and, yes, money into planning your big day?
Is it because you have family and friends coming to witness your vows and you want to treat them to a big party? Maybe.
Is it because you have dreamed, ever since you were a little girl, of the day you married, the dress you'd wear, the song you'd dance to? Perhaps.
But the reward of all your hard work is where I am today. You see, today my Husband and I are celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary. Although our lives have become full of children and homework and jobs and housework, we'll sit down tonight after the kids are in bed and pull out our wedding album. We'll look at the pictures of the ceremony, I'll groan (as I always do) about how much eye makeup I was wearing, he'll tell me to stop, I was beautiful. We'll point to the photos of the children that were invited and comment on how young they look. We'll smile as we look at the pictures of the family members that are no longer with us, my Dad, his Nana. We'll talk a little about how styles have changed, who has lost hair, who has lost weight, and relationships that have changed since that day.
Then we'll put the leather-bound album back into its protective case and back on the shelf. We'll smile at each other and say, I love you.
Then we'll probably watch House.
Why do you put all the energy, thought and, yes, money into planning your big day?
Is it because you have family and friends coming to witness your vows and you want to treat them to a big party? Maybe.
Is it because you have dreamed, ever since you were a little girl, of the day you married, the dress you'd wear, the song you'd dance to? Perhaps.
But the reward of all your hard work is where I am today. You see, today my Husband and I are celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary. Although our lives have become full of children and homework and jobs and housework, we'll sit down tonight after the kids are in bed and pull out our wedding album. We'll look at the pictures of the ceremony, I'll groan (as I always do) about how much eye makeup I was wearing, he'll tell me to stop, I was beautiful. We'll point to the photos of the children that were invited and comment on how young they look. We'll smile as we look at the pictures of the family members that are no longer with us, my Dad, his Nana. We'll talk a little about how styles have changed, who has lost hair, who has lost weight, and relationships that have changed since that day.
Then we'll put the leather-bound album back into its protective case and back on the shelf. We'll smile at each other and say, I love you.
Then we'll probably watch House.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Why a Man Might Shop for a Dress...
If you have been reading my blog, then you know that there are areas of the store, namely, the dressing areas, in which we don't allow men. Sorry, guys! Most men don't mind being excluded from this most feminine of rituals (they roll their eyes and yawn at the 17th dress and everyone gathered round saying, "do you think THIS might be the one?"...!) and are happy to remain out of the bridal area.
But what of the handful of men that arrive and are surprised, even annoyed not to be allowed in this area of the store?
They fall into several categories. The first and most common is the "Dad Shopping with his Daughter". He sometimes cares about the dress, and sometimes not. But he always loves her and thinks she's beautiful and wants to share in whatever makes her happy. And, of course, sometimes he is footing the bill. He comes to make sure Mom doesn't go nuts giving her little girl the dress of her dreams!
Occasionally, a Dad is shopping with his daughter because Mom has passed away. This always makes me get a lump in my throat. I don't know what I would have done without my Mom during the planning of my wedding and picking out my dress. In these cases, Dad is usually fumbling to be a "Surrogate Mother" to his daughter, trying to offer advice he thinks she would have said had she been there.
I have discussed in previous posts about another category of men disappointed not to be allowed in the bridal changing areas. These are men who would like to be the ones wearing these dresses. But this is another discussion for another time!
The other big category of men arriving who wish to enter the bridal area of the store are fiances. Now, I am kind of an opinionated woman, so if something I say frustrates you, please leave a comment and I'll let you have your voice (as long as it isn't vulgar or profane!). But this kind of irritates me. Now when I say that, I am not referring to the number of cultures in which the groom is responsible for selecting and paying for the wedding gown. I have taken too many etiquette lessons, cultural differences classes, and sensitivity training seminars for that.
No.
I am referring to the irritating overbearing fiance. The one who wants to control his girlfriend, from what she wears, to who she talks to. I am a strong-willed woman, so it is hard for me to understand how some of these girls can tolerate the prospect of spending the rest of their lives being in a partnership with someone who won't let her make her own choices and express herself.
I remember one man who arrived to take his bride shopping for a dress. It happened to be a slow day, so we were able to set him up in a separate room where he wasn't in the bridal area, and his fiance, let's call her Jaden, had to be dressed in the dressing rooms, and then take a long walk with each gown to the room where he waited, only to look her up and down, order her to spin, and ultimately give each dress the thumbs up or down. It was such a emotionless kind of experience for me that I wondered if he would ask her to open her mouth so he could check for wear on her teeth. (Get it? Like at a horse auction? Okay, bad one.)
Anyway. He picked a dress. Pulled out a credit card. I measured the Bride. That was it. I didn't see any love or excitement from either of them, and even wondered if this was some sort of arranged marriage or mail-order-bride kind of deal. Kind of weird.
So if you are a bride looking to shop for your dress, and you have a man you'd like to bring with you, do yourself a favor: call the store ahead of time to check whether men are allowed, and in which areas. There is nothing more awkward for the man in your life, as to feel as though he is unwanted by the store. And that may not be the case, it may just be at your store, as in mine, the concern needs to be for not just you and your guests, but the feelings of the other brides shopping at the same time. Remember that the other brides are trying on dresses that are sample sized and often don't fit properly, and they may be hanging out of the gowns. So although there are private dressing rooms, they may not be fully covered when they emerge to show their group their dream gown!
But what of the handful of men that arrive and are surprised, even annoyed not to be allowed in this area of the store?
They fall into several categories. The first and most common is the "Dad Shopping with his Daughter". He sometimes cares about the dress, and sometimes not. But he always loves her and thinks she's beautiful and wants to share in whatever makes her happy. And, of course, sometimes he is footing the bill. He comes to make sure Mom doesn't go nuts giving her little girl the dress of her dreams!
Occasionally, a Dad is shopping with his daughter because Mom has passed away. This always makes me get a lump in my throat. I don't know what I would have done without my Mom during the planning of my wedding and picking out my dress. In these cases, Dad is usually fumbling to be a "Surrogate Mother" to his daughter, trying to offer advice he thinks she would have said had she been there.
I have discussed in previous posts about another category of men disappointed not to be allowed in the bridal changing areas. These are men who would like to be the ones wearing these dresses. But this is another discussion for another time!
The other big category of men arriving who wish to enter the bridal area of the store are fiances. Now, I am kind of an opinionated woman, so if something I say frustrates you, please leave a comment and I'll let you have your voice (as long as it isn't vulgar or profane!). But this kind of irritates me. Now when I say that, I am not referring to the number of cultures in which the groom is responsible for selecting and paying for the wedding gown. I have taken too many etiquette lessons, cultural differences classes, and sensitivity training seminars for that.
No.
I am referring to the irritating overbearing fiance. The one who wants to control his girlfriend, from what she wears, to who she talks to. I am a strong-willed woman, so it is hard for me to understand how some of these girls can tolerate the prospect of spending the rest of their lives being in a partnership with someone who won't let her make her own choices and express herself.
I remember one man who arrived to take his bride shopping for a dress. It happened to be a slow day, so we were able to set him up in a separate room where he wasn't in the bridal area, and his fiance, let's call her Jaden, had to be dressed in the dressing rooms, and then take a long walk with each gown to the room where he waited, only to look her up and down, order her to spin, and ultimately give each dress the thumbs up or down. It was such a emotionless kind of experience for me that I wondered if he would ask her to open her mouth so he could check for wear on her teeth. (Get it? Like at a horse auction? Okay, bad one.)
Anyway. He picked a dress. Pulled out a credit card. I measured the Bride. That was it. I didn't see any love or excitement from either of them, and even wondered if this was some sort of arranged marriage or mail-order-bride kind of deal. Kind of weird.
So if you are a bride looking to shop for your dress, and you have a man you'd like to bring with you, do yourself a favor: call the store ahead of time to check whether men are allowed, and in which areas. There is nothing more awkward for the man in your life, as to feel as though he is unwanted by the store. And that may not be the case, it may just be at your store, as in mine, the concern needs to be for not just you and your guests, but the feelings of the other brides shopping at the same time. Remember that the other brides are trying on dresses that are sample sized and often don't fit properly, and they may be hanging out of the gowns. So although there are private dressing rooms, they may not be fully covered when they emerge to show their group their dream gown!
Monday, September 27, 2010
An Empassioned Plea: Part II
I have attended two weddings in the last month or so, and BOTH of the brides wore strapless gowns, and BOTH of the brides were visibly suffering from droopy dress-itis.
I don't know if this was the result of poor alterations, or wedding-week weight loss.
But the end result was me sitting on my hands in an effort to not butt in where I wasn't wanted, and watch these beautiful brides attempt to casually watch their cleavage when they should have been watching the eyes of their intended.
If you read my previous post about strapless gowns and about the importance of good alterations, you'll recognize this rant for what it is. Frustration at anything that distracts from what is important here: the marriage.
Sounds funny, coming from a dress person. You hear of photographers that seem to forget that there is a wedding here, and this isn't just a photo shoot, and of DJs that think your wedding is their own personal one-man show. So you would expect a dress person to be the one who would insist that the train on the bride's dress be straightened and that photos of the dress are of the utmost importance. In reality, I am a sentimental fool who believes in romance, forever, undying love, all of those cliches (The Princess Bride = best book and movie EVER!) and I believe that the most important thing is the vow, not the dress one wears when exchanging them.
Just one woman's thoughts. I have more empassioned pleas here.
I don't know if this was the result of poor alterations, or wedding-week weight loss.
But the end result was me sitting on my hands in an effort to not butt in where I wasn't wanted, and watch these beautiful brides attempt to casually watch their cleavage when they should have been watching the eyes of their intended.
If you read my previous post about strapless gowns and about the importance of good alterations, you'll recognize this rant for what it is. Frustration at anything that distracts from what is important here: the marriage.
Sounds funny, coming from a dress person. You hear of photographers that seem to forget that there is a wedding here, and this isn't just a photo shoot, and of DJs that think your wedding is their own personal one-man show. So you would expect a dress person to be the one who would insist that the train on the bride's dress be straightened and that photos of the dress are of the utmost importance. In reality, I am a sentimental fool who believes in romance, forever, undying love, all of those cliches (The Princess Bride = best book and movie EVER!) and I believe that the most important thing is the vow, not the dress one wears when exchanging them.
Just one woman's thoughts. I have more empassioned pleas here.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Where There's a Will...
A very short post:
Life has been so busy I haven't had time to write a full-on blog post decrying the trials and tribulations of selling wedding gowns. But I did want to tell you about something wonderful that just happened.
A wonderful, sweet bride who came referred to me by a dear friend of mine, was struggling to find a dress. It became clear why when we met: she's what you might call a large girl. Even though I have wedding gown samples in sizes up to 30W, I could not get a dress on her well enough to get a truly good idea of the style.
But there were no tears, no drama (like some of my size 6 brides have had when they think their behind looks big), she just kept her eye on the prize - marrying the man she loved, and who loved her, just the way she was.
The solution we found was custom. We took a dress that we had been able to get on most of the way, and ordered it with custom changes. What was a tank, would now be a 3/4 sleeve with beautiful detailing, we took some custom measurements, so that instead of a specific size, we would be ordering the dress to be made to her shape. We took careful notes and measurements, crossed our fingers and prayed to the God of dressmakers (there has to at least be a patron saint of dressmakers, n'est pas?) that all would work out.
And it has! She LOVES her dress, although has admitted that the whole process made her nervous, and the beautiful Italian silky-satin drapes like fluid on her body, the neckline frames her face and the overall result is elegance.
Congratulations, LW! I couldn't be happier for you! Every bride deserves to be beautiful, and you are. Every bride deserves to be treated with dignity, and I hope I have treated you so that you have felt pampered and in competent hands. As with all my brides, I continue to feel blessed to have the role I play in this most exciting of life's journeys.
Life has been so busy I haven't had time to write a full-on blog post decrying the trials and tribulations of selling wedding gowns. But I did want to tell you about something wonderful that just happened.
A wonderful, sweet bride who came referred to me by a dear friend of mine, was struggling to find a dress. It became clear why when we met: she's what you might call a large girl. Even though I have wedding gown samples in sizes up to 30W, I could not get a dress on her well enough to get a truly good idea of the style.
But there were no tears, no drama (like some of my size 6 brides have had when they think their behind looks big), she just kept her eye on the prize - marrying the man she loved, and who loved her, just the way she was.
The solution we found was custom. We took a dress that we had been able to get on most of the way, and ordered it with custom changes. What was a tank, would now be a 3/4 sleeve with beautiful detailing, we took some custom measurements, so that instead of a specific size, we would be ordering the dress to be made to her shape. We took careful notes and measurements, crossed our fingers and prayed to the God of dressmakers (there has to at least be a patron saint of dressmakers, n'est pas?) that all would work out.
And it has! She LOVES her dress, although has admitted that the whole process made her nervous, and the beautiful Italian silky-satin drapes like fluid on her body, the neckline frames her face and the overall result is elegance.
Congratulations, LW! I couldn't be happier for you! Every bride deserves to be beautiful, and you are. Every bride deserves to be treated with dignity, and I hope I have treated you so that you have felt pampered and in competent hands. As with all my brides, I continue to feel blessed to have the role I play in this most exciting of life's journeys.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Back to Basics
What could feel better on this Friday than finding that perfect dress? You know, the one that when you put it on you feel like a Bride? Like yourself, only all grown up and highlighting all the parts of you that you like best? THAT dress.
Here are simple instructions how to find it:
1. Set a wedding date and location. It is imperative that you do these things before you start your search.
2. Work out a budget for your whole wedding, and for your dress specifically.
3. Start looking through magazines and internet sites for dress ideas. If there is a specific dress you are drawn to, find out the designer, who in your area carries it, and call to find out the price. If it is within your budget, make an appointment to go in.
4. Look for a reputable store in your area that carries dresses in your price point and with your timing in mind. Don't be afraid to tell the store your needs, "I'm looking to try on wedding gowns in the $800 range. I will be getting married in 6 months. Do you have dresses in that price range that I can get by then?" There is no point visiting a store that is too pricey, or one that offers special-order only when you need something quickly. Your time is valuable, and a store will be grateful to know that you aren't wasting their time as well.
5. Once you have found the store you want to visit and have made your appointment, gather your dress ideas and decide who will accompany you. As you have seen in previous posts, the people you choose to bring can make the difference between a support system, or disorganized chaos. Strongly consider bringing only 2 or 3 people. If you are not paying for the dress, bring the person who is (Mom, Nana, etc.), and make sure your group has a representative from your age group as well as someone a little older who has known you for a while.
6. DO NOT make an appointment to shop if you know you cannot buy a dress yet. This is not to say you MUST buy a dress at your first store, just that at many stores the styles change rapidly and dresses can be discontinued or sold off the rack with no notice. It can be heartbreaking to walk away from a dress you love because you need to wait for your next paycheck. It is doubly heartbreaking if the dress is gone once you are ready to buy.
7. Arrive at the store a few minutes early, leaving coats and valuables in the car if possible. Use the restroom, take deep breaths. This is much easier if you are unencumbered and not distracted.
8. Talk to your consultant about your wedding, the location, date and time of day. Tell her about the feel of your day, formal, simple, sophisticated, romantic, elegant, etc. Then talk about your ideas of things you like or don't like about dresses you've seen. Tell her your budget. A good consultant should be listening here, and asking questions, but not talking much. Once you have finished with your thoughts, she should guide you through the process. Every store has different procedures, and she should help you to understand how your appointment will work, "Susie, if you step in here you'll see we have hundreds of dresses for you to look through. Browse through and pick several favorites. Based on your ideas, I have some suggestions for you as well. Once we have picked a few together, we'll move to the dressing room and start trying on, sound good?"
9. Follow your consultant's lead. Your consultant has done this before, and knows how to run an appointment. She will keep you on track and moving forward. Don't waste valuable time on dresses you don't like. Try to identify what it is you don't care for and move on.
10. Allow yourself to take suggestions from your consultant. She has no motive other than wanting to find you a dress you love, and she knows her inventory and has experience with a variety of body types.
11. Typically, Brides will find that they have one or two dresses they like above the others. Try the dress(es) back on, if you aren't in it already, to see if you still have the same reaction. Ask your consultant to accessorize it for you with a veil and such. Step out of the dressing room, look at yourself in movement, look at it bustled. Look from the front and back.
12. Not all Brides cry! I know I was way to pragmatic for that! But that doesn't mean you don't love it. Ask yourself: Does the dress flatter you? Is it appropriate for the wedding you are planning? Is it in your budget? Can you see yourself walking down the aisle in it? Will you enjoy looking at pictures of yourself wearing it for years to come? Does the dress make you feel beautiful? If the answer to these questions is yes, then,
You have found your dress!
13. Do it! Jump in with two feet! Don't question whether there is another dress out there because, yes, there are lots of dresses out there, and you can NEVER try them all on and what you don't see won't hurt you! You have already researched the store where you are standing right now, so don't second guess yourself and risk losing your perfect gown.
-If, of course, you cannot answer a resounding yes to the questions posed in #12, then it is best not to make a hasty decision. I assume that most consultants are like myself - I like to be able to sleep at night, and I look forward to a long relationship with each Bride that buys from me, so I would never push a Bride to buy a dress she is wishy washy about.
Bookmark this, print it out and happy shopping!
Here are simple instructions how to find it:
1. Set a wedding date and location. It is imperative that you do these things before you start your search.
2. Work out a budget for your whole wedding, and for your dress specifically.
3. Start looking through magazines and internet sites for dress ideas. If there is a specific dress you are drawn to, find out the designer, who in your area carries it, and call to find out the price. If it is within your budget, make an appointment to go in.
4. Look for a reputable store in your area that carries dresses in your price point and with your timing in mind. Don't be afraid to tell the store your needs, "I'm looking to try on wedding gowns in the $800 range. I will be getting married in 6 months. Do you have dresses in that price range that I can get by then?" There is no point visiting a store that is too pricey, or one that offers special-order only when you need something quickly. Your time is valuable, and a store will be grateful to know that you aren't wasting their time as well.
5. Once you have found the store you want to visit and have made your appointment, gather your dress ideas and decide who will accompany you. As you have seen in previous posts, the people you choose to bring can make the difference between a support system, or disorganized chaos. Strongly consider bringing only 2 or 3 people. If you are not paying for the dress, bring the person who is (Mom, Nana, etc.), and make sure your group has a representative from your age group as well as someone a little older who has known you for a while.
6. DO NOT make an appointment to shop if you know you cannot buy a dress yet. This is not to say you MUST buy a dress at your first store, just that at many stores the styles change rapidly and dresses can be discontinued or sold off the rack with no notice. It can be heartbreaking to walk away from a dress you love because you need to wait for your next paycheck. It is doubly heartbreaking if the dress is gone once you are ready to buy.
7. Arrive at the store a few minutes early, leaving coats and valuables in the car if possible. Use the restroom, take deep breaths. This is much easier if you are unencumbered and not distracted.
8. Talk to your consultant about your wedding, the location, date and time of day. Tell her about the feel of your day, formal, simple, sophisticated, romantic, elegant, etc. Then talk about your ideas of things you like or don't like about dresses you've seen. Tell her your budget. A good consultant should be listening here, and asking questions, but not talking much. Once you have finished with your thoughts, she should guide you through the process. Every store has different procedures, and she should help you to understand how your appointment will work, "Susie, if you step in here you'll see we have hundreds of dresses for you to look through. Browse through and pick several favorites. Based on your ideas, I have some suggestions for you as well. Once we have picked a few together, we'll move to the dressing room and start trying on, sound good?"
9. Follow your consultant's lead. Your consultant has done this before, and knows how to run an appointment. She will keep you on track and moving forward. Don't waste valuable time on dresses you don't like. Try to identify what it is you don't care for and move on.
10. Allow yourself to take suggestions from your consultant. She has no motive other than wanting to find you a dress you love, and she knows her inventory and has experience with a variety of body types.
11. Typically, Brides will find that they have one or two dresses they like above the others. Try the dress(es) back on, if you aren't in it already, to see if you still have the same reaction. Ask your consultant to accessorize it for you with a veil and such. Step out of the dressing room, look at yourself in movement, look at it bustled. Look from the front and back.
12. Not all Brides cry! I know I was way to pragmatic for that! But that doesn't mean you don't love it. Ask yourself: Does the dress flatter you? Is it appropriate for the wedding you are planning? Is it in your budget? Can you see yourself walking down the aisle in it? Will you enjoy looking at pictures of yourself wearing it for years to come? Does the dress make you feel beautiful? If the answer to these questions is yes, then,
You have found your dress!
13. Do it! Jump in with two feet! Don't question whether there is another dress out there because, yes, there are lots of dresses out there, and you can NEVER try them all on and what you don't see won't hurt you! You have already researched the store where you are standing right now, so don't second guess yourself and risk losing your perfect gown.
-If, of course, you cannot answer a resounding yes to the questions posed in #12, then it is best not to make a hasty decision. I assume that most consultants are like myself - I like to be able to sleep at night, and I look forward to a long relationship with each Bride that buys from me, so I would never push a Bride to buy a dress she is wishy washy about.
Bookmark this, print it out and happy shopping!
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