Bridezillas

One of the most frequently asked questions brides ask me as I take them in and out of dresses is, "Do you ever get any Bridezillas?" (2nd most popular question, "Do you have a really strong back from lifting all those dresses", yes, and 3rd, "Do you love your job?" big yes, 4th, "Do people ever pick gowns that look awful on them?" oh heavens yes.) My stock answer is that, no, we don't get bridezillas, I love my brides and we get along well and I get invited to weddings all the time. Although this answer is 99% accurate, I do become attached to my brides and have been invited to weddings, there are the remaining 1%. And even these are not the raving lunatics from the TV reality show Bridezillas. They are mostly stressed out women, tapped out for money, being pulled in too many directions by fiances, Moms and In-Laws. They have taken on too much and are often buying a house at the same time as planning their wedding, finishing grad school and trying to be Martha Stewart all at the same time. This is a recipe for our version of the Bridezilla, whom I think of as the "Unreasonable Bride". Case in point:

Bride: "I am unhappy with my dress. It is the wrong size."
Me: "I'm sorry, but how do you mean?"
Bride: "My dress is a size 10 and I wear a size 6."
Me: "Oh, I see. Remember that the sizing on bridal gowns is not the same as standard American sizing."
Bride: "But I have never worn a size 10."
Me: "Do you remember when you bought the dress? You bought the sample off the floor, and even got a discount on it. And the dress fit you beautifully then, that's why you decided to go with the sample instead of ordering a new one at full price."
Bride: "My Aunt is doing my alterations and said the tag on the inside says it is a 10 and that the dress is too big for me and I should be compensated."
Me: "It is a 10, most samples from that company are, and if you have lost a little weight and it is roomy, it can be easily taken in through the sides. Would you like our seamstress to do it for you?"
Bride: "But I don't want it, it is a size 10."
Me: "I would have been happy to order you a new one in your size, but your wedding is in only 2 weeks. I wish you had expressed your concerns to me about the size when you took the gown home months ago, then I would have had more options how to help you."
Bride: "But I didn't know you were selling me a size 10."

Yes, this is a real conversation I had with a real bride who then went on to post a review on the internet claiming that I had "ordered" her the wrong size gown, giving the impression that I had taken her measurements badly and was incompetent. She never mentioned in her post that she purchased a sample gown at a discount off the floor.

I went home that night and had a glass of wine.